In the beginning.

So, I'm beginning a new adventure, a new chapter in my life.  As with any new chapter, you need a new blog, right?  Well maybe not, but in this case it is appropriate.  This blog is going to record my search for my artistic calling.  Now, that sounds kind of vague and admittedly it is, but I'm still working this out.  If I had all the answers already this blog would be called "Fulfilled artist who is content with his life."  So, how about telling a little about myself, some self reflection if you will.

This is not the first time, nor will it likely be the last that I have felt a little lost.  Traditionally when I feel this way, I wallow in it for a certain period of time and then make a decision.  I don't always think out all the repercussions of this decision, but a choice has been made and I forge blindly onwards.

 This all began with college.  My first college experience was not traditional.  I failed all of my classes and flunked out the first year, not because of partying.  No, with my new found freedom I chose to sequester myself in my dorm room and watch movies and play video games all day long.  Sounds pretty great.  It was too, but it was not a direction in life, it was just a void of laziness.  So I made a decision, a traditional university wasn't for me, I should go to a trade school.

This was a fairly good decision as I saw it through and got a Bachelor's degree in Engineering Technologies. Unfortunately I graduated right after the tech bubble popped and the job market was horrible.  I finally got a job at a company that at least had engineers working there in some capacity.  Unfortunately I was in the slave labor department and they had me putting batteries in cell phones and turning them on.  It was as exciting as it sounds.

I ended up getting a full time job delivering pizza.  This sounds like a terrible job, but actually I was making a lot more money than at my cell phone chimp job.  There was the added bonus that I wasn't treated like crap and I wasn't stressed out all the time.  So I was happy, but again stuck in something that isn't a path to anywhere really.

At the time a friend of mine was getting a degree in computer science, and a school project he was working on required some artwork.  He was tasked with making a video game with Java that was comparable to what was on the market at that time.  So he needed some 3d artwork created to showcase his program.  This was something I had dabbled in for many years prior, never very seriously, but I always enjoyed it.  So I ended up buying a book and learning quite a lot about 3ds Max and creating some content for a video game.  I had a blast doing this.  I loved learning about it, and researching current trends.  I loved creating models in a 3d program.  I just loved soaking up knowledge about art.

 It was then that an acquaintance of mine said something so simple and obvious to me one night.  I had been complaining about crappy jobs and how much I had loved working on this artwork.  How much I had always been interested in art and the creative process.  How I had loved learning about engineering, but had loathed the actual work and the current job market.  I had loved the creative side of engineering, but it was disheartening to see the reality of  it.  People working for years doing something they hate to finally reach the level of engineering where you get to be creative only to be jaded.  And he said, "Why wouldn't you just do what you love?" 

Such a simple off handed remark, but something I forgot along the way.  I was always trying to please everybody else and not thinking about what I really want to do or love to do.  I was easily swayed in my youth toward paths that seemed more solid financially, like engineering, but forgot that if you don't love what you choose as a career, can you ever really be successful?  Even since pursuing first 3d art and then graphic arts as a career path, I still have struggled with wanting to please others before myself.  I'm beginning to realize though that the committee in my head made up of the fictionalized persona's of whomever I am trying to impress, doesn't jibe with reality.  I am the only one standing in my way.

So I did go back to school to pursue something I loved only to find what I love can change as time goes on, but seems to always be a subset of the art world.  I got a Bachelors degree in Media Art and Animation, and though there have been struggles, I know I am on the correct path now.  This last step is an important one too, realizing that I should start my own business.  This is what I have been striving for my whole life.  I am beyond excited about this and know that this is where success for me has been lying in wait.  It's going to be a fun ride, lets get going.